…figuratively speaking.

Look at me, such a classic blogger. Using loud catching phrases to grab your attention.

Its almost true, however. Firstly, the air in Hanoi is very polluted, and it took two separate people to tell me this, as well as a day and half, for me to realize why I want to eat, vomit, and collapse, all at the same time. Dirty air does lower your IQ.

That was the first time. I was walking to the Train Station with my newly made friend Pasha, and placing bets in my head how long it would take me to collapse on the road unconscious.

Second time was funny (no). I went to Vietnam Post to send a parcel to my family, and as the lady was weighting my bags, it turned out they only accept cash as a method of payment (whereas my parcel was quite pricy (2 million dong)). I left the parcel with her and ran to the closest ATM, as I only had 400,000 dong on me.

Long story short, the ATM said there was an error and did not return my card. A girl that was withdrawing cash near me (and did it smoothly), asked one of the security guards nearby (there was a bike and bicycle parade). The answer was not too hopeful – police will not help, everything around is closed, tomorrow (Monday) is some kind of a holiday, so everything is closed too, come back Tuesday. I freaked out, and let the poor girl go, as she clearly wanted to be anywhere else in the world rather than near another person desperately in need of help in a foreign country.

A Vietnamese guy, who spoke a very decent English, tried calling their hotline, but received the same “come on Tuesday” response. He gave me some water and we had a small chat, which relaxed me a wee bit. I went around the block, trying to find another ATM (I was afraid to even use the second one that worked) and still withdraw cash to send a parcel. Half of ATMs did not take Visa’s, the other half was closed or broken. Defeated, I returned to the cursed ATM, and inserted my other credit card into what seemed to be a second working machine. It showed me an error message that the PIN was incorrect, although it was not so.

I returned to Vietnam Post Office, took back the parcel but sent the postcards, as they had already the dated stamps. Once in the hostel, I locked my card, and cancelled my Ninh Binh trip on Tuesday. I cannot say my mood was spoiled… but it was. My main concern was that somebody would use my ATM, which would trigger the machine to spit out my card BEFORE Tuesday. My other credit card apparently bailed – I tried withdrawing money 2 more times at 2 other different ATMs, once it said that PIN was incorrect (again!), the second time it said it did not have the local currency… as if I asked for dirhams from the personal savings account of Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud. When 3 years ago I got scammed for 6000 dollars, my bank did nothing; now they are guarding my money so well even I myself cannot get access to it.

My only way to use the remaining credit card was to pay tap. It is hard to find a place that accepts card payments in Vietnam, and finding one that does AND allows you to tap… Brother, make a wish, you were born under a lucky star! I realized how vulnerable I was without money, but the only thing I could do was just wait. Oh, and yeah – I could not even e-transfer anybody money for cash. PayPal would greet me with an internal server error every time I tried logging in.

Tuesday, April 8, 2025

Yesterday I boarded the bus and set up on a 2-hour on wheels, 1.5 hour by boat trip to Ha Long Bay. I slept horribly, and so almost all this time I spent sleeping with half closed eyes. A pretty Indian girl, who obviously was travelling solo, was glancing at me, clearly willing to make an acquaintance. I was gladly willing to make an acquaintance too, but was in such a sleepy state that kept telling myself “one more second, and I will talk to her, give me just one more second”. Eventually she came up to me when we were both dying, making our way up the stairs to have a one of a lifetime view at Ha Long Bay.

Ha Long Bay is one of the things that are better to be seen once than be told about a million times. Thankfully, the morning fog started questioning the purpose of its existence and humbly dissociated into the void, so we could see the turquoise waters of the bay. The tour consisted of the cruise ship taking us to different scenic spots, and our last stop was at one of the caves (not too impressive after Phong Nha, but it was peculiar in a sense that the cave was filled with the river during rainy season, and I also got a keychain souvenir for free with my picture).

Nooooo way. As you can see, the pictures are here.

And what about the credit card, you might ask. Well, nothing much, I shall answer. After telling the receptionist at my hostel, how freaked out I was being a foreigner with no money in a different country, it seemed to click in his head that it was not fun and games for me (apparently it was for him; of course, it was not HIS credit card stuck in the ATM!). He took me on his bike to the bank brunch, and the lady returned with something that looked like a pile of the playing cards, but in reality turned out to be a pack of credit cards. She compared the names in the passport and on the card, and returned me the cc which I was ready to give a French kiss.

I went to Hanoi Coffee Station for a Salt Coffee and a Smoothie Bowl (Idk why I capitalized these, but gonna leave it like that – what are you gonna do?). Turned out, if there is anything worse than driving in the traffic, its parking despite the traffic. No matter, where I tried to park, the angry middle-aged Vietnamese Karens would come up to me, really angry, yelling and gesturing for me to drive away. One of them was so demonstratively rude, that I showed her a middle finger before leaving (funny enough, I was talking to her husband before, and tried to explain to him that I am trying to understand where I CAN park, even showed him the translation. He shrugged and just brought his wife who started swearing at me). I finally offered 10,000 dong to the other, slightly more adequate lady, who put the chain on the wheel of my bike, and the neighboring bike. They later unlocked it and let me drive away when I was ready.

In the evening, I realized I only live once and am leaving Vietnam in a week too (I have a rule to only visit a place once), so that allows me to let myself loose. Said & done, dear. I went to water puppet show (note: book in advance, especially for weekends the and evenings!), which was AMAZING (merci beacoup a Dju, qui le me recommende). I hope I said that right, lmao. Also, spent just as amazing time at the night market, buying street food and some clothing (go girl!).

Ha Giang Loop was an unforgettable experience. It is hard to put down on paper all the emotional oversaturation you experience after the whole day of riding the bike, when the wind blows into your eyes and exits through ears, bike speeds up, and half a meter to your right is the abyss. At first, I was constantly holding on to the saddle, but the next day I was close to just letting it go and doing my nails in the meantime. Your butt grows out 4 – 6 small arms, with which it holds on to the saddle like a new evolutionary miracle, and you can raise your hands up.